And out he has walked.
Printing resumes, collecting his personal items, eats the dinner he refused to eat with us, picks up the things packed at the doors and out he walks.
My little boy, my hopes, my dreams. It’s so hard as a parent, not to place all your dreams on your normal child. You suppress them deep inside you because you don’t want them to feel the pressure. For them to be all they can be, because you know your child with disabilities cannot reach those achievements.
You navigate through self-help books, opinions, magazine articles, parenting workshops and lectures, wondering each step of the way if you have made the right decisions or the wrong ones or more importantly did you have time to fix the wrong ones.
And out the door he walks, but not before I could convey the most important message.
“I love you”, I say, as he one arm hugs me. No words in return.
Those powerful three words you parted with will carry him taller than any other you could have shared. I will send you positive thoughts and lots of hope.
Thank you for visiting. Finding the balance in raising a son with special needs and your normal child, was one I found always challenging.
I’m sorry *hugs*
You may have already considered this before, but perhaps counseling? Just for yourself. Just to air your grief and pain. Just a suggestion. It will put you in a better position to help your child.
Take care
I think I shall have to seriously consider this. Far too many stresses at the moment and trying to compartmentalize them is a moment to moment struggle.
Big cwtches. I know how strong you are xx
Now that I know what a cwtche is, thank you. I seem to need a lot of those recently. And considering I never would say ‘need’ for anything for myself, it appears even I too am learning lessons.
My friend, don’t despair. Two of my sons walked away in similar situations. Both came back to me wiser and more aware of life and their affects on others. The pain I felt and sometimes still feel will lessen greatly. To let them grow, they have to become their own men. This cannot happen under the roof of their parents. I feel your pain…and will say a prayer for you tonight since I also belong to the sister-hood of Moms who had to let “push” their fledglings out of the nest to allow their growth.
Thank you my dear friend. The pain seems immense and yet by tomorrow evening, I must pull up my socks and go be the strength for my dad and his forever girlfriend. I am permitting myself today and tomorrow because for the weekend, I must find strength.