My husband on occasion will state “Your brain scares me” and my reply is always “It scares YOU! Imagine, I actually live with it 24/7 and it scares the living daylights out of me”.
The past 2 weeks has been like this. It’s been flowing with ideas for the blogs, ideas for work, mean people, volunteering for the my son’s highschool Parent Council, pay bills, re-organize the finances, do the paperwork, complete the contracts, who haven’t I called, who haven’t I seen, order diapers, and most importantly the Hearing Panel for Substitute Decision Maker.
There are moments, which I have taken from Eckart Tolle’s “A New Earth“, whereby I actually say out loud “Shut Up!”. I literally am talking to myself out loud, telling my ego to just stop, give me a break, give it a rest will ya!
I feel I have been so wrought with stress that I am overwhelmed and sadly I didn’t accomplish my commitment to two blog posts a week. But in the middle of that chaos in my brain, I actually noticed something very unique happening. I was in disbelief, but I kept watching to see if it actually is true and it was. Our dog who clearly cannot speak words was telling me something about Troy.
Two years ago this coming April, I got my first dog. My husband has basically grown up with them. So we got Bishop, our Golden Retriever. Everytime, we came home, Bishop seemed so sad that we were gone all day. So this non-dog person (ME), decided her dog needed a dog. Just shy of a year later, on a Monday, we went to visit a Border Collie Mix, that had been rescued along with his two brothers from an abusive environment. When I first met this black fluff ball, he was shy, scared and wanted nothing to do with anyone. My husband told me, he wouldn’t be a good mix for our very busy family. The following night when my husband got home from work, Vegas was already purchased and in our home. It was Vegas’s eyes that told me a story that won my heart and I just knew, this is where he needed to be.
It was a hard go with Vegas. He chewed everything, didn’t like being petted, scoured away, always frightened, and untrainable. He quickly became known as “Little S*T”. A friend of a friend was working with dogs and he came to us in September and has helped us with both our dogs and we have seen an incredible difference in our Vegas. (He was called Vegas for 3 reasons 1) his one leg looks like dice 2) we were told he was a Border Collie/Newfoundland Mix, so we took a chance on his size 3) Vegas holds a lot of meaning for my husband and I.
Which all brings me to these past few weeks.
Troy is not toilet-trained, as I have mentioned previously. We put Troy to bed around 9pm each night and then we sit and watch a show or play some online game, currently “Star Wars – The Old Republic“. At some point, we head to our bathroom off our bedroom and have a smoke (GASP, yes I smoke, along with a few other habits). Only during the coldest of evenings will we do that, instead of our garage.
The best part is coming, so get over the smoking thing for me.
When I leave our bedroom, I noticed Vegas is actually laying beside Troy’s closed bedroom door. This is not a place I would consider Vegas’s favourite spot. It’s usually on our bed, at the base of the kitchen bay window or on Troy’s couch.
I am not quite sure when I caught on, but I did and it’s been consistent. When Troy has had a bowel movement in his diaper during the evening, Vegas lies beside Troy’s closed bedroom door quietly. Our Vegas is talking to us on behalf of our non-speaking son. Vegas trained himself through his sense of smell to tell us something. You need to realize this isn’t every night and holds no consistency and Vegas does not lay there any other evening. What an incredibly WOW moment for us.
There are times when life provides us with a blessing and we are far too busy to pay attention. For the past decade, I have truly tried to slow down my life, and become even more aware of what life is telling me. Sometimes, with my very scary mind, it’s hard to see or hear it, but it’s there and it’s always inspirational.
And as I proof-read this post, it only goes to show I have some work to do with my brain this weekend. It appears to be all over the place and I need to reign it in and focus.